you are the weapon i choose

urbancatfitters:

you had me at “hello” and you lost me at “i think your friend is cute”

trust:

taking a nap is always so risky like when will I wake up? in thirty minutes? in 3 hours? in 9 years?? no one can be sure

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nevermorethoughts:

How I view my Tumblr audience: image

How it actually is: image

sernacht:

So, I was in the car today and saw someone with the license plate “X0DUS3 5”, so I thought it was like Exodus 3:5 and I looked it up, and do you know what it said?

"Do not come any closer"

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Anonymous: "How often do you workout?"

humorking:

i actually once lifted a weight 

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pruderanch:

200% sure that all of my friend have secret meetings where they just talk about how annoying I am

Chris Pratt interrupts the interview to french braid intern’s hair x

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verylittlebird:

this is the sort of web content i am looking to see every day

evelynewhychu:

"I’m just very happy to be on the show."

HOW KEVIN STARTS TO LAUGH EVEN BEFORE HE ANSWERS THESE ASSHOLES I S2G

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the-sarcastic-robot:

drugs-in-ur-coffee:

selfish-cunts:

dqdbpb:

angelina jolie’s daughter

image

and gwen stefani’s son

image

both so cute 

Parenting done right

ugh. this is so wrong. how can you support someone letting their kid wear socks on grass. do you know how hard it is to wash those stains out?

I thought I was going to have to yell at someone for being a close minded asswipe but that was the biggest plot twist of my life. 

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