you are the weapon i choose

seifukucat:

damnit grandpa it’s 2021, they’re not spiders anymore, they’re arachnid americans and more importantly my friends

profwebleygrizwold:

important ship question: who wears the “if found, please return to [name]” shirt and who wears the “i am [name]” shirt

10-21 35,395 notes - via / source

yungfeminist:

*disdainful white parent voice* kids these days and their…inability to sit quietly and cooperate as a cog in the gas guzzling white supremacist capitalist ableist heteropatriarchal machine we’ve designed for them…and their rap songs

10-21 47,125 notes - via / source

bonerfart:

Me: my son is so tiny i must have the tiniest son in the world

Doctor: this is a regular sized baby, i don’t think you understand how babies work

Me: I love my tiny son

10-21 124,881 notes - via /

glamorous-enterlude:

multitasking platonic circumstances (◕ω◕✿) 

10-21 501 notes - via / source

neptunain:

"GENTLEMEN, WE ARE AT WAR WITH TROY AND MUST NOT DROP OUR GUARD AT ALL"

"sir, the enemy gave us a giant wooden horse"

"oh rad bring it in"