damnit grandpa it’s 2021, they’re not spiders anymore, they’re arachnid americans and more importantly my friends
important ship question: who wears the “if found, please return to [name]” shirt and who wears the “i am [name]” shirt
*disdainful white parent voice* kids these days and their…inability to sit quietly and cooperate as a cog in the gas guzzling white supremacist capitalist ableist heteropatriarchal machine we’ve designed for them…and their rap songs
Me: my son is so tiny i must have the tiniest son in the world
Doctor: this is a regular sized baby, i don’t think you understand how babies work
Me: I love my tiny son
"GENTLEMEN, WE ARE AT WAR WITH TROY AND MUST NOT DROP OUR GUARD AT ALL"
"sir, the enemy gave us a giant wooden horse"
"oh rad bring it in"